Light heavyweight slugger Edison “Pantera” Miranda (34-6, 29 KOs) wishes to congratulate his latest opponent, Yordanis Despaigne (9-1, 4 KOs), for his Oscar-winning performance last Friday night.
For those who missed it, Miranda lost what could have been a sensational war on Friday, July 29 at The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas and live on ESPN Friday Night Fights, when referee Vic Drakulich disqualified him at :45 of the fifth round for highly questionable low blows.
Miranda explains: “I tapped Despaigne on the belt line and he fell down like he’d been shot. He’s not a fighter, he’s an actor and he was looking for a way out because he didn’t like the way the story was going to end. He got hit low a couple more times and cried on command and the fight was over. So for that performance, I am awarding him Best Actress in a Dramatic Role. He’s the new Million Dollar Baby.”
The hard-punching Colombian says he will continue to harass Despaigne until he “mans up” and gives him a rematch.
“I’m going to be like TMZ just for him until he fights me again. I’m going to follow him around and report on what dress he’s wearing and who made his earrings. He’s going to be calling Luis DeCubas and begging to fight me again, just so I leave him alone. I haven’t wanted to get an opponent back in the ring this bad in a very long time. I’m going to punish him for his acting skills.”
Miranda says although Despaigne had some early success by “running around the ring”, by the time of Drakulich’s disqualification, the tide had clearly turned. “He was out of gas. I let him punch me because it was like pillow fighting a girl. He knew he had to get out of there before the fight was half over because I was in amazing shape and coming on strong. If it had gone one or two more rounds, he was finished.”
According to Miranda, Despaigne’s convincing performance may have been helped by a wardrobe malfunction. “I think all those shots on the belt line were hurting his belly button piercing.”
Miranda also says that although ESPN Boxing commentators Joe Tessitore and Teddy Atlas referred many times to Despaigne’s quality acting job during and after the fight, it was their chief boxing writer, Dan Rafael, who first suggested Despaigne’s performance was worthy of Hollywood’s highest honor. “Every Best Actress winner gets to make a speech, so don’t forget to thank Dan Rafael for the nomination.”